Another Late Arrival

There is one thing I do enjoy about getting into New York late: catching a glimpse of the trains leaving the city. Not the MTA subway cars, but real trains. Trains with two stories of windows glowing blue across the side, making the machine look like a deep-sea creature swimming through the darkness just over and beneath the edge of the turnpike.

A Good Start

This is how I would like to start every morning: trying to use the sink that's full of my roommate's dirty dishes(from a Monday night party) and accidentally splashing water so it looks like I pissed myself, followed by delayed trains, and then finally getting to work to find someone else has logged into your machine and locked it.

Fun.

Hot Hot Heat

I hate sweating. The sticky, slick slimy feeling of your shirt clinging wetly all over; like being pawed at by a moist-palmed pervert. And that little trickle down a leg or the small of your back, it's a sudden jolt of ickiness. A reminder of how disgustingly flesh and bone you are.

It's been remarkably hot lately. My room nearly reached 100 degrees Sunday and yesterday. My apartment has AC, it just doesn't reach my room. I have a large, towering ineffectual fan instead. If you want to move hot air around, I can't recommend it enough. At least today is a little cooler.

I've been good with the exercising, and up until a brotherly visit last week, good with the eating. I'm back on track now, though, so hopefully my goals can still be reached this summer.

A Reoccuring Dream

A Reoccurring Dream: I'm a little boy, at the age when first memories begin to form...the youngest I ever was. Not yet fully aware of myself. I'm sitting in front of a television. A commercial comes on - for what, it doesn't matter - starring another little boy. He's blonde. He's handsome. I know because my babysitter says so.

A little boy thought: I'm blonde! So I am handsome!

I run to the bathroom to look at myself. I see the boy in the mirror.

A little boy thought: I don't look like the boy on TV...

...I must not be handsome.

My first memory; my first disappointment.

There is an element of this dream in every day that's happened since.

A Couple Of Random Thoughts

1. I now we all love our iPods/Zens/whatevers to death, and we can't imagine daily commutes - or life - without them. I count myself among the countless hordes you can identify by spotting those white earbuds, or a pair of noise canceling headphones when I'm feeling really pretentious. But you will never, ever spot me wearing those while ordering my coffee, lunch, or anything else for that matter. You won't see me doing what the prick in front of me did today: taking one bud out, and then draping it over his ear. Hole-lee FUCK, people. Look, this is not an ATM or an online order; there is an actual human being behind the counter who deserves your attention when they are trying to take your order. Especially since you will be the first person to bitch if anything is wrong. Plus - and I know this may come as a shock - your music will wait for you. It will not gleefully ignore the pause command and go on playing while wishing a fuck you at you, robbing you of your favorite song. Come one people, we are trying to have a civilization here!
2. We have two elevators at work. Sitting in the lobby one day, I noticed the "5" above the second elevator door was burnt out. Watching the descent, the car goes to "6", disappears for a few seconds, then goes to "4". During those few seconds, I like to pretend the car is in the Twilight Zone.

Feel Free To Ignore This...

...since I haven't posted in forever, but I had to share my results from the band game:



I cheated a little, changing "Nuclear" to the popular phonetic version. Go try it!

Hey There...

I promise I'll be back some day. Probably after 10/01, when the huge project I'm working on finally rolls out. Then, back to semi-regular posting and ranting...

All I Do Is Post Videos Now

But this one is hilarious:

Don't Look Him In The Eye...

...or he'll steal your soul:

Summertime In The City

The New City, New Job Hits of 5/16/07

"Fireball", The Slats
"New York, New York", Ryan Adams
"My Little Brother", Art Brut
"Juicebox", The Strokes
"Rotten Hell", Menomena ("all those opposed can rot in hell...")
"Ordinary People", John Legend
"On Broadway", The Drifters
"Out On The Weekend", Girls In Hawaii
"This House Is A Circus", The Arctic Monkeys
"Hang Me Up To Dry", Cold War Kids
"Fashion", Earl Greyhound
"Riding On The Subway", Jesse Malin
"New York Apartment", Bill Hicks
"Changes", David Bowie
"Over The Hills And Far Away", Led Zeppelin
"Train Under Water", Bright Eyes
"In Transit", Albert Hammond Jr.
"Every Single Line Means Something", Marnie Stern
"She Will Only Bring You Happiness", Mclusky
"New Slang", The Shins

Almost Time

What appeared on Yahoo's front page this afternoon:



A thoughtful story on toxins found in the common American kitchen.

What straight men saw:



Er...what? Yeah, toxins. Gotta have your toxins.

Furious Fingers

In my review of Marnie Stern's debut album, In Advance Of A Broken Arm, I said that her guitar playing must be a thing to behold. Thanks to YouTube, we can...behold it. Some videos of her playing live(all of these show her playing some insane guitar on "Vibrational Match")








Finally, here's a proper music video for her song "Every Single Line Means Something":

Some Good News This Morning

From Yahoo's front page this morning:

Why? Why? I'll tell you why: because there is a God. A chocolate loving God. Read the story here.

HSIOW

The Rainy Day Hits of 4/4/07

1. "Elanore", The Turtles - The Turtles Present The Battle Of The Bands
2. "Spectral Beings", Jesse Sykes and The Sweet Hereafter - Like, Love, Lust & The Open Halls Of The Soul
3. "Canadian Idiot", Weird Al Yankovic - Straight Outta Lynwood
4. "Yellow Sun", The Raconteurs - Broken Boy Soldiers ("You're making me hungry/but what's really funny/is it's not sunny/anymore")
5. "Just Couldn't Tie Me Down", The Black Keys - Rubber Factory
6. "The High Road", Bettye LaVette - I've got My Own Hell To Raise
7. "A Lack Of Color", Death Cab For Cutie - Transatlanticism
8. "Mr. Jones", Counting Crows - August and Everything After
9. "Hotter Than Hell", KISS - Hotter Than Hell
10. "It's Alright", The Redwalls - De Nova
11. "We Will Rock You", Queen - News Of The World
12. "Is She Weird", The Pixies - Bossanova
13. "Lay It All On Me", The Black Crowes - Lions
14. "Face The Blood", Sondre Lerche - Phantom Punch
15. "I Go To Sleep", Sia - Sounds Eclectic: The Covers Project
16. "Mother's Little Helper", The Rolling Stones - Flowers
17. "Crazy In Love", The Magic Numbers - Sounds Eclectic: The Covers Project

It's Only Tuesday

The Getting Through The Work Day Hits of 3/27/07:

1. "King For A Day", Bobby Conn - King For A Day ("I'm back at my job/back at my job.../Every Monday Morning.../I was King For A Day")
2. "12:51", The Strokes - Room On Fire
3. "Satan Said Dance", Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Some Loud Thunder
4. "Out On The Weekend", Girls In Hawaii - Sounds Eclectic: The Covers Project
5. "On The Radio", Regina Spektor - Begin To Hope ("on the radio/you hear november rain/that solo's awful long/but it's a nice refrain")
6. "Call To Arms", The Black Angels - Passover
7. "Put Your Records On", Corinne Bailey Rae - Corinne Bailey Rae
8. "Mack The Knife", Bobby Darin
9. "Boyscout'n", Menomena - Friend And Foe
10. "You Know I'm No Good", Amy Winehouse - Back To Black
11. "Where Did My Baby Go", Howard Tate - Howard Tate
12. "Bang And Blame", R.EM. - Monster
13. "Dashboard", Modest Mouse - We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank
14. "Every Single Line Means Something", Marnie Stern - In Advance Of A Broken Arm
15. "Smells Like Teen Spirit", Tori Amos - Crucify EP
16. "Tony The Beat", The Sounds - Dying To Say This To You
17. "The Post", Dinosaur Jr. - Bug
18. "Formed A Band", Art Brut - Bang Bang Rock & Roll
19. "In The Mouth A Desert", Pavement - Slanted & Enchanted
20. "Track You Down", Sondre Lerche - Two Way Monologue ("I saw you, you saw me /And you were naked, which was weird")
21. "Tear Me Down", Gov't Mule - The Deep End Volume 2
22. "Zelda - Fortress", The Advantage - The Advantage
23. "Without Me", Eminem - Curtain Call
24. "Thunder ON The Mountain", Bob Dylan - Modern Times
25. "Help!", The Beatles - Help
26. "Can't Stand It", Wilco - Summerteeth ("No loves as random/As God's love/I can't stand it/I can't stand it")
27. "Go", The Replacements - Stink EP

Quick Hits

Hardly anyone in the office today, though a couple more have trickled in, we are still at less than half strength. Nice and quiet. Too quiet...

Break it up with:

• Nicolas Cage loves Ghost Rider, hates Entertainment Weekly. Makes me want to see the movie that much more. [ MSN Movies ]
• Why no one thought of using the Truffle Shuffle like this before is a mystery. [ YouTube , courtesy of Deadspin ]
• You can almost see this being real, can't you? When I read The Onion lately, I get that feeling way too much for my taste. [ Bush Cuts Off Diplomatic Relations With Congress ]
• Holy shit. [ Video Of Skydiver Hitting The Ground At 80 mph ]

You could also read my latest review at Bigyawn, and some good ones by other writers . Happy Valentines Day bitches.

OMG, He's Crying!

My Top 24 Songs Of 2006, According To My iPod

I'm taking the two most played songs by month, giving me 24 songs for the year(only counting songs released in 2006). So, here we go:

From January: "Vision Of Division", "Juicebox" The Strokes, First Impressions Of Earth. This was the first album I bought in 2006, and at first, I was a little disappointed. The stylistic departures didn't sound right, and the album was unnecessarily long(a symptom of bands wanting to make their first "good" album). After a few listens though, the first half of the album really began to grow on me. "Juicebox", the first single, is a heart pumping track. Plus, the video features a hilarious cameo by David Cross:




"Vision Of Division" is a great example of the "clean Strokes" sound that sets apart everything on First Impressions Of Earth from the two previous Strokes albums. Julian Casablanca's vocals can be heard clearly at last, and although that's not a good thing all the time, here it works rather well. This particular passage really spoke to me, describing some of my previous(re: bad) relationships:

All that I do, Is wait for you
All that I do, is wait for you
I can't get along, with all your friends
Dont know how to act, that's all there is
Where do I accept all the things you say
You know what to change,
But not in what way

From February: "I'll Bet You Look Good On The Dance Floor", "Red Lights Indicate Doors Are Secure" The Arctic Monkeys, Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not. It seems all I did in early 2006 was obsessively listen to one album a month, as these two tracks were far and away the most played between the Superbowl(fuck the Steelers) and the 28th. Insanely catchy guitar hooks paired with lyrics that are so wet with wit you can imagine yourself Alex Turner turning tricks at dive English clubs are a recipe for repeated listens. Not only did I believe the hype, I was a big part of it.

From March: "Dick Around", "Metaphor" Sparks, Hello Young Lovers and "A Dangerous Woman Up To A Point" Destroyer, Destroyer's Rubies. The first two songs were actually tied, so I put them together. I heard "Metaphor" on a Stylus podcast and downloaded the album from emusic immediately. The entire album is an exercise in the absurd, but "Metaphor" and the Bohemian Rhapsody-like "Dick Around" are it's crowning achievements. Silly and fun, this is pure Sparks.

The Destroyer tune is the best track off of Rubies, showcasing some of the best songwriting of 2006. Destroyer has been labeled "European Blues" by, well, Daniel Bejar himself. If that's what this is, I like it - but - unlike other artists playing blues-like music, Bejar so strongly inhabits his songs that the label almost seems like an insult. "European Oils" was my favorite track off the album, however, for the part when Bejar sings "Her father...the fucking MANIAC!" at the end.

From April: "Poor Doggie" The Eagles Of Death Metal, Death By Sexy and "Phenomena" Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Show Your Bones. After their recent tagging by Axl Rose as the "Eagles Of Shit Metal", there has been a lot of hate directed at this band. The music has been called juvenile, stupid, and a waste of Josh Homme's time. I agree with the first assertion(it's what makes the band good), but not the last two. Listen: not everything has to be Radiohead, The Decemberists, or whatever other band people listen to and pretend to appreciate on a level usually left to Mozart and other dead Europeans. Sometimes, rock music just has to rock. This band is pure attitude, KISS without the makeup, and I love them in all their crude glory.

As for "Phenomena", that is my favorite track of Show Your Bones, a good sophomore effort from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I don't have much else to say about it, I just like the pacing and Karen O's vocals.

From May: "Have Mercy On Me" The Black Keys, Chulahoma and "Despair In The Departure Lounge" The Arctic Monkeys, Who The Fuck Are The Arctic Monkeys? EP. Obviously, I was not over the Arctic Monkey hype. I purchased this EP off of iTunes(yeah, I'm a sucker who buys music online). It was a nice little addendum to the first album, the music equivalent of deleted scenes. "No Buses" is actually my favorite track from it, but "Despair In The Departure Lounge" is good as well.

"Have Mercy On Me" is from the Key's EP tribute to the late bluesman Junior Kimbrough. Arguably better than their full-length album Magic Potion released later in the year(which has no songs in this top 24, though they were close), this track is nice grooving blues tune whose intensity is turned up a couple notches by the Keys. This track also features a nice cool organ in the background, meaning it has something Magic Potion did not: growth.

From June: "Head (Of State)", "My Favorite Mutiny" The Coup, Pick A Bigger Weapon. This was my favorite album of the year. From your boss to the President, Boots Riley cuts fiercely and eloquently on everybody. "Head (Of State)" features maybe the best chorus line of all time: Bush and Hussein together in bed/giving H E A D head/ya'll motherfuckers heard what we said/billions made and millions dead/. Ball-grabbing, isn't it? "My Favorite Mutiny" just absolutely kills. An anthem of irreverence, social uprising, it's the soundtrack to revolution.

From July: "Chasing Cars", "You Could Be Happy" Snow Patrol Eyes Open and "Night After Night" The Sounds, Dying To Say This To You. This is where honesty could result in some harsh backlash. Snow Patrol is not the most revered band in the world, and yes, "Chasing Cars" can sound like that game from Whose Line Is It Anyway? where everyone sings a made-up song one word at a time, but it and "You Could Be Happy" are still a good listen. Plus, the band is Irish; I have to stand up for the old country.

"Night After Night" is one of my favorite songs from Dying To Say This To You, and I've already talked about it's merits before. "Night After Night" is the ballad of the album, and lets Maja Ivarsson's smokey vocals fill out the space left by a lack of instruments: just the beautiful keyboard playing of Jesper Anderberg. Ivarsson is one of my favorite rock singers, ever.

From August: "White Unicorn" Wolfmother, Wolfmother and "Jealous Girls" The Gossip, Standing In The Way Of Control. "White Unicorn" is, simply, a great rock song in the tradition of Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, and Deep Purple. Wolfmother benefits from the fact that there aren't many bands making music like that anymore, helping them standout in a sea of Coldplay and Strokes clones. I expect big things from this band.

The Gossip's Beth Ditto is the latest woman making 2006 a banner year for female rock vocalists. She really carries the trio's fifth album with her powerful performances. I like "Jealous Girls" because I'm a sucker for slick guitar licks, plus, I really like the part when Ditto sings Over, Oh-o Over over a dropping guitar riff. That part kills. The rest of the song is still good, but the title track "Standing In The Way Of Control" is really the best song off of the album.

From September: "I Gotcha" Lupe Fiasco, Food & Liquor and "Workingman's Blues #2" Bob Dylan, Modern Times. I hated "I Gotcha" the first time I heard it, and I don't have the faintest idea why. I listen to it now, and I find Pharrell's beats infectious and Fiasco's delivery smooth and flowing. I know I hated it at first though, because I wrote "I HATE THIS SONG" in my review notes. Was it all the references to smells in the beginning of the song? Did that make me a little uneasy, the smells? I have no idea, and I never will.

"Workingman's Blues #2" appeals to the blue collar worker in me, though I haven't really been blue collar for a few years. Still, music for the working men and women in America(if it's good, Sam's Town) appeals to me. This song has one part, though, that I always sing along to incorrectly. Dylan's lyrics go They say low wages are a reality/If we want compete abroad or something close to that, and I always want it to be If we want to compete overseas. I'll defer to Dylan.

From October: "First Night", "Citrus" The Hold Steady, Girls And Boys In America. I don't know what it says about me that I like two of the slower, ballad-lite songs from Girls and Boys In America instead of the straight-out rockers like "Chips Ahoy" and "You Can Make Them Like You". Wait, yes I do: it means I'm a big, big pussy. I can live with that.

That said, buy this album if you haven't already(even if I disagree with most of Craig Finn's critiques of 2006's singles in the last issue of Spin).

From November: "God Only Knows (You Gotta Give To Get)" El Perro Del Mar, El Perro Del Mar and "Shine On" Jet, Shine On. El Perro Del Mar's self-titled debut was the first album I reviewed for BigYawn, which is probably why I listened to this song so many times in November. Even if I wasn't reviewing it, though, I still would have enjoyed it. It's insanely hummable in the way that gets your head bopping.

"Shine On" is my favorite track of the Jet album of the same name. Maybe it's because I like to root for the underdog, or maybe I just like being difficult, but I like Jet(in a non-ironic way).

From December: "Hand Of Stone" Mastodon, Blood Mountain and "Tell A Story" Rhymefest, Blue Collar. In my salad days, all I listened to was metal. Mastodon brought me back to weekends playing Rifts and D&D in friend's basements while rocking out to Metallica, Megadeth, Iron Maiden, and Tool. Metal has enjoyed a resurgence in the past couple of years, and Mastodon is one of the bands leading the renaissance. "Hand Of Stone" is a new classic.

Didn't I say something earlier about liking music for the blue collar worker? Rhymefest's named his album Blue Collar for God's sake. "Tell A Story" is an ode to everyone just eeking out a normal existence, and Che Smith's flow is so charismatic I can't stop listening to it(or the rest of the album).

Agent Zero

Gilbert Arenas is the new king of Washington.



He turned away before the shot was even in. What a bad ass. That's Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, killer instinct type shit right there.

Damn, this guy is good.

For Friday, My Quirks

• With the exception of the song Hallelujah, I don't like any song with Hallelujah in the title.
• Every night, before I go to sleep, I imagine the deafening sound and blinding flash of a nuclear bomb going off not far from my apartment. I'm not sure if this makes me strange, or normal.
• I use all of my towels exactly twice before washing them. And work clothes.
• I always put the sun visor down when I'm driving. The sky is distracting.

Anyway, I'm off to NYC for the weekend. Everyone enjoy the rain.