Shall We Play A Game?

I saw WarGames last night on the big screen, and it was a treat. A solitary one, too, since I couldn't find anyone to go with. Hell, it was hard to find someone at work who had heard of the damn movie(which is celebrating it's 25th anniversary, making me old).

When I arrived at the theater, the audience was mostly mid-thirty-somethings with wedding rings, beer bellies, bald spots and - sigh - children. Though the kids were a little endearing; like watching a geek-torch passing.

There was a small technical hiccup in about three-quarters through(which prompted the expected Joshua jokes), but I didn't mind since that gave me an unexpected bathroom break.

Seeing the old-school computer hardware -- floppy disks, modems, green terminal text -- was interesting. I can only imagine how fantastic this all seemed in 1983.

In a behind-the-scenes feature that aired before the movie, Mathew Broderick revealed that for the two small scenes where he plays Galaga in a *gasp* arcade(a true relic of the times), the producers of the movie bought him a Galaga machine and put it in his trailer. He also had to learn how to type(no one had computers then). Galaga got a lot more of his attention then typing.

It's Really Big...No, Bigger Than That...It Was Big

Time to get my geek on. Ever wonder how big the Starship Enterprise D was? Well, take a look how it stacks up to various Seattle landmarks(click through to RFjason.com):



Neat. Interestingly, "Starship" is not recognized by the Blogger spell checker. It wants to change it to the "Steamship" Enterprise D, and I have to admit, a steam-punk Enterprise would be kind of cool.

We All Know Who Would Do It

There are things and times you don't miss until they are happening, usually because you're taking life way too seriously. That's been a problem for me lately, so Saturday afternoon I sauntered up to Paul's car at the Greenbelt Metro in the least serious way possible(short of hopping and skipping).

I brought Weird Al's "Straight Outta Lynwood" because I thought Paul would find it funny, but we talked and caught up over all the best parts. That bothered me a little. I wanted him to marvel at how funny it was, because I'm vain; it was a very foolish whim in retrospect. But I'm a fool at heart.

If there is one person in the world everyone should talk to, it's Paul; I always have animated, hilarious conversations with him. Whatever talking to Dick Cheney is like, talking with Paul would be the complete opposite. Paul and I get into trouble when talking in cars, though, and it's all the fault of The Simpsons. Once, The Simpsons made us two hours late; today, the pop-culture heavyweight nearly got us killed¹.

Nine years ago, Paul was driving me and our friend Aaron to visit another friend at Washington College, which is in Maryland's Eastern Shore. It was freshman year for all four of us(Paul, me, Aaron, mutual friend attending college in the vast marshes of the Eastern Shore; yep, that's four), so this was our first visit to WC. Jamie -- the mutual friend -- had given us good directions, which we ignored while we traded Simpsons' quotes for hours and hours after crossing the Chesapeake Bay. We ended up some absurd distance(that increases with each retelling of this story) past our exit, and we've joked since then that we are forbidden to discuss the show while Paul is driving(or while Aaron is sleeping).

Today, ignoring our past experience, we traded Simpsons' lines for a mere thirty seconds before Paul almost slammed into the back of a car stopped at a red light.

"Paul, you're gonna hit that guy," I mumbled.

After coming to a screeching halt behind the oblivious near-accident-victim, Paul gave me a thoughtful look.

"I'm surprised how calmly you told me I was about to kill us, 'Paul, you're gonna hit that guy...just, putting that out there...'," he said.

I replied I was frozen with fear and it happened too fast. In reality, I was eerily calm because of all my friends, if you -- Paul -- end up getting me killed, I will be very surprised.

¹Paul disputes that this was the fault of The Simpsons. He says he was distracted because he was pointing out the dental office of a friend. Paul, I know quoting The Simpsons is fun, but we can get our fix in non-vehicular settings. We shouldn't even do that shit on the Metro; we would kill dozens of people.

Mild Mannered

I'm having a Clark Kent day. Those are the days when I wake up too tired to put in my contact lenses(which is pretty tired), and opt for my glasses instead. I had a restless night; I'm not sure why. Maybe trepidation from a task at work I had to complete today that's full of aggravating, time-consuming glitches, spread throughout the source code like little landmines. A task that kept me from a co-worker's farewell lunch. A task that -- surprise five o'clock changes pending -- is finally, thankfully done.

Maybe. Who knows.

Starbucks is starting their own music label, Hear Music. And I for one, welcome our caffeine selling overlords. While I'm not a Starbucks fanatic -- it's hard to be when you don't drink coffee -- I do love their hot chocolate and the store's general atmosphere. I've been to many independent coffee shops, and I can never tell the difference between what they shill and the offerings at Starbucks. Then again, I am a complete, utter philistine: whenever I go to an upscale restaurant with my girlfriend, I'm secretly disappointed to discover buffalo wings aren't on the appetizer menu.

I can't really object to the company's taste in music. When I peruse the CD displays at Starbucks, there's usually at least on or two albums that catch my eye. This week, they have KCRW Sounds Eclectic: The Covers Project, with live covers from Damien Rice, Robert Plant, K.D. Lang, The Magic Numbers, and others. One or two of these I already have, but still, the album glowed with a neon "buy me NOW" halo. Flipping the CD over, the halo vanished in a poof of overpricing: $14.95. A Hear Music exclusive; nowhere to be found except hanging among the green aprons of your local Starbucks. Fifteen bucks for fifteen tracks, plus some pretty liner notes courtesy of the folks at KCRW. If I buy this, am I technically supporting public radio? Yes, I am - the proceeds will help KCRW digitize their music library. That makes me feel a little less guilty...ah, fuck it - I'll buy it, then magic marker "WHITE LIBERAL YUPPIE" on my forehead. Who cares, I'll be rocking out to Robert Plant covering "Black Dog"! Wait, what?

Maybe this isn't such a great idea, then again, as The Onion shows in it's American Voices feature, it can't make the record business any worse:

"It's a sad day when the music industry gets co-opted by giant, faceless corporations that are more interested in profits than music."

I have a weekend of gaming with friends ahead of me; I love getting my nerd on with some Magic: The Gathering. It keeps my brain strong and -- being in a long distance relationship, this part is crucial -- it defends me from pretty girls.

Anyway, I'm going to get back to praying for no five o'clock changes.

Starring Me as Myself

I've seen this musical meme making the rounds at two of my favorite blogs. It creates the soundtrack to the movie of your life, if anyone ever made it. And the way you do this is:

1. Open your music library (iTunes, Winamp, etc.)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Lather, rinse, repeat. DON'T LIE, IT'S NOT COOL(I won't, no matter how embarrassing).

Opening Credits: "Help Me Spock" - Warp 11
Ah, a preview to my unique brand of geekery. What kind of opening shot would this be, me struggling with a problem only a Vulcan could help me overcome? Help Me....SPOCK!

Waking Up: "Oh Girl" - The Chi Lites
Well that's just fucking great, I wake up heart broken, yearning for some girl who broke my heart(she better be played by Lisa Bonet or Rosario Dawson). This is turning out to be a great movie. Shit.

First Day of School: "The Post" - Dinosaur Jr.
Um...I have no idea, really. I guess "Eyed it, dried it, untied it/Chilled it, spilled it, refilled it/Paste it, traced it, erased it" works for school.

Falling in Love: "Just Because I Do" - My Morning Jacket
Well this is almost a better fit, it does sound like a good love song. Maybe I fall in love with someone who isn't right/good for me, so "I'm hoping you'll get better, and ill get rid of you. " Wow. That's weird.

Fight Song: "Four Dead in Ohio" - Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young
My love is killed in a student protest, so I set out to confront the establishment bastards who took her from me. Yeah. "gotta' get down to it/ soldiers cuttin' us down/ shoulda' been done long ago/ what if you knew her and found her dead on the ground? how can you run when you know?"

Breaking Up: "Good Times" - Sam Cooke
A very ironic song for my breakup. This plays while I wallow in exaggerated comic misery - or, I'm just really happy because my girlfriend after my dead girlfriend was a real bitch, and I go out partying. Either way.

Prom: "Carry On My Wayward Son" - Kansas
I go back in time, to 1977, when this song was a Top 40 hit. It plays after I make sure two star-crossed lovers share their first kiss at the prom, and Al tells me to get ready for my next leap. Then I wake up.

Life: "So What" - Miles Davis
A nice, jazz-backed montage of my life. In black and white, featuring some shots of me playing pool and smoking for some reason.

Mental Breakdown: "Sweet Little Sixteen" - Chuck Berry
After a series of personal and professional disasters, I'm reduced to a cowering shell of a man who takes multiple personalities to cope. One of them is a girl celebrating her 16th birthday. This plays on a record player as I manically celebrate by myself with a cake and stuffed animals.

Flashback: "European Oils" - Destroyer
The lyrics talk about the past, so it's a good song for a flashback. A previously unknown chapter in my life, where I fall in love with an English woman named Candice, and her father ruins our relationship " She needs to feel at peace with her father, the fucking maniac...". It ends with her tragic death, and me at her wake, ringing bells for my lost love. "I made a tomb for all the incompatible cells I could take/I brought bells to the wake/And you, you didn't mind shedding your beautiful European blood as I screamed - "Death to the murderers we've loved all our lives!""

Getting Back Together: "Lonely Train" - Black Stone Cherry
My next girlfriend serves in Iraq. After punching the President in the face, I travel to Baghdad to saver her(I'm convinced her death is inevitable). This song plays as I'm helicoptered around the war-torn streets of Baghdad, before finally finding her in the middle of a viscous firefight. We kiss, and fly off together, and somehow we bring everyone else with us.

Wedding: "Bitch" - The Rolling Stones
Um...yeah. Actually, once you hear the song, it fits pretty well: "Yeah, you got to mix it child/ You got to fix it must be love/ Its a bitch/ You got to mix it child/ You got to fix it but love/ Its a bitch, alright". Love and relationships are something you have to work on, and eventually you learn that. It's not all fun and games. It's a bitch.

Birth of a Child: "Strawberry Fields Forever" - The Beatles
I have no idea. Maybe the entire idea of fatherhood is so alien and scary, the entire birth scene is very surreal to me and doesn't seem like it's really happening? "Nothing is real and nothing to get hungabout."

Divorce: "Commotion" - Creedence Clearwater Revival
The divorce is frantic and messy. I have to move to a small apartment downtown, and my daily life turns from serene to tumultuous.

Final Battle: "Swee Dee Dee" - Cat Power
I guess it's not so much as a final battle, but a final confrontation with the ex-wife. We share bittersweet memories before making love one last time, and this song plays as it fades out from us in our last embrace.

Moment of Triumph: "Lazing On A Sunday Afternoon" - Queen
I live on and have a great life, relishing in the pleasures of the everyday.

Work: "I Want A Little Sugar In My Bowl" - Nina Simone
A thankless job; I long for something more, something more exciting. Or, the coffee is just too black.

Death Scene: "Wild Thing" - Jimi Hendrix
I die pursuing a side-career in street racing. A horrible, horrible fiery crash. Jimi plays the song for twice as long as the original(over six minutes), so I have time to pull of a spectacular win before my final crash.

Funeral Song: "Sweet Child O' Mine" - Guns N Roses
My friends carry of my casket, but it's kind of a celebration of my life funeral instead of an oh fuck he's dead funeral. My hair reminds someone of a warm place where they would hide as a child. I go out rocking. "Where do we go? Where do we go now?" I'll find out, Axl, I'll find out.

End Credits: "Tremor Christ" - Pearl Jam
Eerie. There is a twist ending, it turns out I was the evil twin all along. Or Jesus. Or something. " little secrets, tremors...turned to quake.../the smallest oceans still get...big, big waves.../ransom paid the devil...he whispers pleasing words...".

Giddy As A Schoolboy

My review of the Killers' Sam's Town has been used by BigYawn.net! I'm geeking out! :)