Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Fanboys Unite

So I'm reading this article about fanboys a friend twittered(typing that made me feel dirty) about fanboys, when I come to this quote from Matt Damon:

...[Fanboy's] tastes can be obscure. "You know the movie they quote me most often?" says Matt Damon. "Not the Bourne movies. Not Oceans. But Rounders. I can't figure it out."

I'll tell you why Matt: because Rounders is fucking awesome.

Mike McDermott: "I feel like Buckner walking back into Shea. "

Worm: "Hey! If you want to see this seventh card you're gonna stop speakin' fuckin' Sputnick. "

Worm: "I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the fuckin' rake."
Mike McDermott: "What the fuck are you talkin' about. What saying?"
Worm: "I-I don't know. There ought to be one though. "

Mike McDermott: "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage. "

Taki: "What did you think he had? Does he look like a man beaten by jacks?"

Teddy KGB: "In my club, I will splash the pot whenever the fuck I please. "

Teddy KGB: "Nyet! Nyet! No More! No! Not tonight! This son of bitch, all night he, 'Check. Check. Check.' He trap me! "

Worm: "Now, what did I ever do to that guy?"
Mike McDermott: "You fucked his mother."

and my personal favorite:

Mike McDermott: "You comin' up? "
Lester 'Worm' Murphy: "No, I've been standin' out here all this time just to say hi."
Mike McDermott: "All right, listen, things haven't been that smooth on the homefront so, you know, tone it down a little, all right?"
Lester 'Worm' Murphy: "Tone done what, motherfucker?"

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

I Have No Shame

How y'all feel? I have a question. How many people like to buy digital music? You always need something to get you through the workday...there's gotta be some people out there who like to use BitTorrent? Oh yeah...I was talking to my little brother the other day, and he said the kids these days really enjoy that MySpace...but I tell you something, when you're down in the dumps, and you need something to bring you up, there's only one thing that's gonna do it the way you want it!

iTunes binge!

What's that?


Oh yeah. Instant gratification.

My apologies to KISS.

Anyway, I've gone on a couple of iTunes binges lately. There's something about that instant gratification, coupled with the spell Steve Jobs has cast upon me via my iPod, that compels me to drop dolla bills at two in the morning on songs from my formative years, or at least songs I think were from my formative years. It gets fuzzy.

You see, there was a time when all I had was the radio. I didn't have much money for CDs, so I listened to rock and Top 40 radio. And hearing some radio last weekend in DC, I realized, I miss some of those songs. So I started downloading tracks from Sublime, System Of A Down, Weezer, Pearl Jam, Coolio, Sum 41, Jimmy Eat World, Mudhoney, Audioslave, Incubus, Bush, Rage Against The Machine and god help me, Hoobastank. Live, Foo Fighters, Korn, Nine Inch Nails, Staind, Linkin Park, Fuel, the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Good fucking Charlotte. It's a little disturbing that half of these songs are available on the TV compilation "Buzz Ballads", but damn it, this is what I had to work with. Then I remembered what I would heard, at the age of twelve, booming from my best friend's older brother's stereo. So down comes some Quiet Riot, Motley Crue, Megadeth, Scorpions, Rush and Twisted Sister.

Yeah, Hoobastank. What of it?? "The Reason" is insanely catchy.

What was popular when I was a college freshmen? What did I hum in the car while I was running late to eight am journalism classes? Down comes some Fastball, Matchbox 20, Semisonic, New Radicals, Eve 6, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Three Doors Down, Shawn Mullins(he sings "Lullaby" know, it goes "Every-thing's gonna be alright..."...he speaks in a real gravely voice in between the chorus about some drunk crying chick at a dive bar he's performing at...I just assume he nailed her that night), and just for the hell of it, Alice Cooper. It makes no sense, but it's iTunes, alright? It doesn't have to. While I'm here, I'll subscribe to the "Flight Of The Concords" podcast. Why not? It's fucking funny. "Two Princes", almost forgot that. And since it takes about 24 hours for my bank to process an iTunes transaction, much like a drinking binge, I won't pay for this until tomorrow!

I may have to go some kind of addicts meeting. Or just go to seeqpod from now on.

Now playing: Matchbox Twenty - 3 AM
posted with FoxyTunes

Monday, July 23, 2007

I Weep For The Past

So I'm sitting here, tweaking a design at work, while surfing the web at the same time(it's called multitasking) when I came across this story about the Beatles' part in the "first live trans-Atlantic satellite transmission". Apparently, it was widely panned in Britain at the time:

"Have we nothing better to offer? Surely this isn't the image of what we are like. What a dreadful impression they must have given the rest of the world," one comment read, the newspaper reported.

Another viewer, impressed by contributions from elsewhere, said "after all the culture ... shown by the other countries, the Beatles were the absolute dregs," the newspaper claimed.

"We did not do ourselves justice," another viewer commented.

I wonder, what would these British adults of the 1960s preferred? Shakespeare? I just wish Monty Python had existed, they could have beamed the entire world the Dead Parrot Sketch.

The best part of this is, as I was reading that the song "All You Need Is Love" was written for the performance, it starts playing on my iPod. Awesome.

You know I'll be seeing Across The Universe on opening night.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Friday Night Lights

I'm trying something new today. I'm going to post a weekend re-cap on a Friday. Why? It's the kind of outside-the-box thinking that I've been doing lately. That, and I haven't made the time to write it until now.

Anyway, last weekend was great. It didn't get off to a great start. I had to work late Friday, and I barely made the ten o'clock bus to DC. The cut-off was about two people behind me. Those unfortunates had to wait until 12:30 am for the next DC bus. I was lucky. I had a psychic in front of me.

Of course it wasn't his amazing extra-ordinary mind powers that helped(after all, he didn't anticipate Port Authority, of all places, being crowded). No, what helped was he was going to Baltimore to "unhaunt" (I assume that was a technical tearm) an old motel. So when a separate bus to Baltimore became available, off he went, and up the DC line I went. Before he left, he did give me a nugget of paranormal knowledge I feel I should pass on: usually (but not always, mind you), if there is a ghost doing some haunting, it's because that person died possessed. Before you ridicule, keep in mind this man was financed by the Sci-Fi channel and wore a t-shirt from his TV show. That's credibility, folks.

So I got into DC around three in the morning. Luckily, my father and my youngest brother(who is 19, wow) were waiting for me. I was all prepared to get my geek on the next day. Considering the festivities started at noon, I went to bed right away.

Hahaha, I'm just kidding. I hardly ever do the reasonable thing when it comes to sleep. So, after getting lit up with two of my brothers, we went outside and I spent a good half hour watching them attempting to hit one their cars with a football. It's not as dumb as it sounds. The car was parked in the street, across the yard, underneath one huge tree with another standing between them and the car. So bullet passes were out; they had to launch the ball like an artillery shell so it would clear the first tree and arc through the branches of the second. In the dark.

OK, it is as stupid as it sounds, but after ten or twelve misses(we decided halfway in that 'off a bounce' didn't count) I was really invested. Someone had to hit it. Sadly, neither one did. Oh, and during this entire spectacle, a hot waitress from the restaurant all of my brothers work at watched the entire thing. That just made it more surreal.

Eventually, I made it to bed and somehow, I manage to get up in time.

The Magic festivities were fun. My father did the best in the tournament, finishing in the money, with the rest of us scrubbing out by round five. In fact, everything was going pretty smoothly until I unleashed the "six degrees" monster.

You see, Friday night, while I was working late, my co-workers and I started playing "six degrees" with various actors. For example:

Elvis Presley to Naomi Watts
Elvis > It Happened at the World's Fair < Kurt Russell > Bird on a Wire < Goldie Hawn > Everyone Say I Love You < Julia Roberts > Closer < Jude Law > I Heart Huckabees < Naomi Watts

So we start playing this game Saturday, and everything else took a back seat. All we did was name actors and movies while our bodies kept doing other activities like eating, driving, and playing other games. At one point, in attempting to like Robin Williams to Jack Black, we kept circling back to Robin Williams. The game can get confusing.

So Sunday, I'm on my way to my brothers' baseball game, when I bring the game up. Everything is going great until my youngest brother suggests Meg Ryan to Drew Barrymore, which we don't solve before arriving at the ball field. Long story short, I place all the blame for my brother's error on a fly ball to left field on "six degrees" and his mind wondering: so wait, Meg Ryan was in...with whats her name, who was in...oh fuck the ball! They won, despite Meg Ryan.

The game was like no other I've ever been to. This was my first time at a non-high school, non-college game that didn't involve being at Camden Yards or RFK. You see, my brothers are playing in a semi-semi-pro league that has existed since 1886. There are teams in cities throughout Maryland, and these people take their baseball seriously. Lining the chain-link fences along the base-paths were throngs of old men talking trash. Serious trash:

"What the hell is wrong with you boys? You're bunch of sissy girls, the bunch of you! I'll fuck you up if you don't play some god-damned ball! I'm fifty years old and I ain't afraid of any one of ya!"

Yikes. A far cry from the -- relatively -- quiet stands of a Little League game. These guys would grind on you, and they wouldn't let up. One error, and they'd be on you the entire game. And it wasn't limited to players; umpires, coaches, opposing fans, and even the damned PA guy.

"That guy says 'last-call for lottery tickets' one more time I'll go over there and stab him! It's fixed anyway - someone from Charles County always wins! I was born on a farm, you can't put that shit over on me!"

The other weird interesting part of the league was that it was all ages. I saw a 46 year old hit a home run off of a twenty-something, and it didn't involve Julio Franco.

I was sad when the weekend had to end, and I had to get on another damn bus back to NYC. I need to find another way to travel.

The Times They Are A-Changin'

In the last two weeks, I've gone from this:

(the Nike 500 miles run club) to this:

I can't claim any real innocence; after all, I asked for this job, and I really want to do well. I've been staying late of my own volition.

Still, it's kind of striking. I haven't been to the gym in over a week; I haven't seen my girlfriend in almost two weeks; I've been putting in ten and twelve hour days(or more) - it gives pause, to say the least.

After dinner with a close friend -- who warned me of his similar experiences at his last job -- I've decided I need to set some better boundaries at work. There has to be a balance. If I learned anything from The Karate Kid, it's the need for balance. If you have no balance, you end up in a freezing lake. A very important lesson, second only to "if you do Karate 'I guess so', squish! - just like grape!".

I do love my new work. It's stimulating, creative, and for the most part, fun. I'm still getting used to this new, strange city - and it's success-driven work culture.

"If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere". That's what they say about New York. Maybe, just maybe, if I get the balance right, I will make it. Then this will be me:

Thursday, July 19, 2007

All I Do Is Post Videos Now

But this one is hilarious:

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Don't Look Him In The Eye...

...or he'll steal your soul:

I May Have Spoken Too Soon

Ugh, I feel sick. I've been eating more fruits and vegetables, drinking water, and exercising in a vain effort to prevent any illness. Maybe I can still win, but today feels like it could be the tipping point towards failure. Sheesh.

I bought some cold medicine from a nearby Duane Reade, took some, and left the box at work. So, soon I'll rest and forget about all the work that still has to be done. At least, when it's finished, I'll have something great to show for it.


I'm watching the World Series of Pop Culture, and I have to route for Westerberg High, in honor of The Replacements' lead singer Paul Westerbeg. Great name for a trivia team. Of course, Carlton Banks dance academy isn't too bad either. Appropriately, Westerberg High won the music category. Also, I find it not only hilarious that "sugartits" was an answer, but that VH1 had to bleep "tits".

This weekend I'll be visiting the family and taking part in Magic: The Gathering World Wide Game Day. Yep, I'll be waving my freak nerd flag high. Should be a relaxing, fun time.

Tomorrow is the photo shoot,; hopefully I'll feel better by then. Until then, here are...

The De-Stressing From Work Hits Of 7/11

1. "Stars and Sons", Broken Social Scene
2. "Life Of Pain", Black Flag
3. "Seen Your Video", The Replacements
4. "Strawberry Fields", Ben Harper
5. "Bartering Lines", Ryan Adams
6. "Fly That Know", Talib Kweli (feat. MF Doom)
7. "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy", Queen
8. "Stay Positive", The Streets
9. "Little Cream Soda", The White Stripes
10. "The House That Guilt Built", The Wrens
11. "Rolling Back", My Morning Jacket
12. "What's Going On", Marvin Gaye
13. "Time Of The Season", The Zombies

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

I'm Not Dead Yet

The subway stops in NYC aren't air conditioned. That's important to note, because I'm from DC, where they -- for the most part -- are. Or their at least cool. So, when I emerged from the Times Square station I was already pretty miserable, suffering from swamp crotch(thanks UB) and longing to get to the office water cooler as quickly as possible. Then, in the bright New York sunlight, there was nothing. But the stench.

I felt cliche thinking that it smelled like shit, until I saw a truck that read NYC Free Waste Control. So, it was literally shit, being pumped out of the street. Or into the street, who knows. Anyway, the smell made me think of my blog.

I've been gone for a few weeks, and like many things left unattended, this blog has started to reek. My apologies to all six readers. If you still remain.

Anyway, I know I promised pictures from my high school reunion. And I would have them, if not for the fact that I started drinking and socializing first, and completely forgot I had a camera.

The reunion was fun. I had people tell me I looked exactly the same, and others tell me I looked completely different. Most people looked the same to me, and hardly anyone looked like they had put on a few. Well, maybe a couple. I hung out, reminisced, and drank. Afterwards, I ended up at an after party with all the cool people who wouldn't have been caught dead with me ten years ago. And what was I missing out on all those years ago? Drinking, hanging out, and reminiscing, though ten years ago I'll bet there was more sex than reminiscing.

What else has happened since then? Oh, this Thursday I will have my first professional photo shoot. The ad agency I work for decided to go in-house for a sunglasses campaign, and against all odds, I was picked along with four other guys to take part in the photo shoot. Doesn't guarantee I'll be used in the campaign, but I get a free pair of sunglasses and some professional head shots. Not a bad deal.

I'll try not to go AWOL for this long ever again, though the way work has been going, I can't promise anything, My team is up against an arguably impossible deadline, and we've all been putting in extra hours.

Hopefully things will let up soon.