The Future Is Now

Wil Wheaton¹ is a prophet. Nary a week or so ago, the erstwhile Wesley Crusher suggested five things to improve iTunes. Two have come true in the past few days. Clearly, Wheaton has some kind of future sight. Does he already know the results of the 2008 election? We should monitor his whereabouts; that way if he moves to New Zealand we'll know to follow.

Anyway, the two accurate predictions are Apple's deal with EMI to offer premium quality, non-DRM tracks for $1.29 on iTunes and the new "Complete Your Album" feature that allows you to buy the rest of an album at a discounted price if you bought a single or two off of it. So we have Apple hand-holding one of the big record labels as they tip-toe into DRM-free waters, and a new iTunes Store policy that essentially says "We are done screwing you over. Really, we ran out of places to keep the bags and bags of your money, plus we need to save some space for June."

Long-term, paying thirty-cents more for premium songs -- ignore the fact that an average listener can't tell the difference between current AAC encoded tracks and CD quality ones, because it will make your head hurt -- songs that you are free to put on any device, rip any number of times, cut-up, remix, and even put on a godforsaken Zune for all Apple cares; that will have the most impact.

Short term though, "Complete Your Album" is what I'm excited about. A quick click in iTunes, and I discovered I have...256 albums I can complete.

256?

I've spent at least $256 on iTunes singles?

This must be what alcoholics feel like when the fat guy who runs their AA meeting tallies up how much they spend getting blitzed each week. Shit, this is why I own the latest Modest Mouse, CYHSY, and Rakes albums but still haven't furnished my ninth-month old apartment with anything beyond my bed and a desk.

What, exactly, can I complete? Well, here's a sampling:

I Have No Respect For Money: Hot Fuss, The Killers. I bought one single off of this album because my CD was scratched and one track, I can't remember which, wouldn't rip. It's only ninety-nine cents, right?

With Apologies To That Stoner Guy From High School: Sublime, Sublime. I download "What I Got"; I can have the rest of the album for around $7...or I could just buy "Santeria" and "Wrong Way" and have all three "essential" Sublime songs. Well, besides "Date Rape" and "Caress Me Down". Five essential songs then.

I Love The 80s: Billy Idol's Greatest Hits, Billy Idol; Slippery When Wet, Bon Jovi; Songs From The Big Chair, Tears For Fears; Riptide, Robert Palmer. At the age of eight, Bon Jovi's album title sounded vaguely, disturbingly dirty. I was very sheltered and repressed. Robert Palmer was a musical James Bond; he is sorely missed.

You Weren't There Man, You Don't Even Know...It Was Like...Fucking...Trenchant, Man: Music From Big Pink, The Band. "The Weight" is the only song I wanted, because I'm a heathen. This album I might actually complete someday, just to make good with the hippies.

A Man Hitting On Me Recommended It: Permanent, Joy Division. I'd never given this album a listen -- it's hard to hear everything in the "classic" cannon -- so I downloaded "Love Will Tear Us Apart", and I really liked it. Apparently not enough to completed the album though; maybe saving a buck will change that.

I Have A Morbid Sense Of Humor: Live Era '87-'93, Guns N Roses. "I Used To Love Her", the greatest song about killing your girlfriend and burying her in your backyard ever written.

Sweatin' To iTunes Singles: Ultimate Survivor, Survivor. "Eye Of The Tiger" is the only Survivor song; I refuse to believe otherwise.

Because The Guys Will Never Know: The Bonnie Raitt Collection, Bonnie Raitt. "Love Has No Pride" is a great song, and I don't have to defend my tastes. Besides, I don't own any other Raitt tunes. Honest.

I Also Enjoy Xena Warrior Princess: Blurring The Edges, Meredith Brooks. Since "Bitch", Brooks had one of her songs -- "Shine" -- used as the theme song to The Dr. Phil show. Also, she is friends with Brian De Palma and produced a Jennifer Love Hewitt album. It's really a case of good news bad news with this woman.

I Really, Really Want To Have Sex With Her: Hear Me Cry, Sonique. It is enough that "It Feels So Good" is a beautiful piece of music, but it doesn't hurt that Sonique is exactly my type: a beautiful, unattainable English DJ slash singer. There aren't too many of those running around.

The Benefits Of My Parents Keeping The Dial At Oldies 100: Cameo Parkway: The Best Of ? And The Mysterians, ? And The Mysterians. "96 Tears" is a perfect rock and roll song. That simple, addictive tingling keyboard, the cocksure vocals, this is garage rock at its best.

Because The Guys Will Never Know II: Music From The O.C. Mix, Vol. 1. Look, Jason Schwartzman was the drummer for Phantom Planet, who recorded "California", that has to count for something right? Right?

I Really, Really Love The 90s: Dookie, Green Day; (What's The Story) Morning Glory?, Oasis; Tidal, Fiona Apple; Fashion Nugget, Cake; Tragic Kingdom, No Doubt; Core, Stone Temple Pilots; Smash, The Offspring; Temple Of The Dog, Temple Of The Dog; Urban Hymns, The Verve; Rubberneck, The Toadies; The Fragile, Nine Inch Mails; Candlebox, Candlebox; Blind Melon, Blind Melon; Americana, The Offspring; Frogstomp, Silverchair; Sparkle And Fade; Everclear; Black Sunday, Cypress Hill; The Battle Of Los Angeles, Rage Against The Machine; The Globe, Big Audio Dynamite II; Crucify EP, Tori Amos; Bacdafucup, Onxy; Cereal Killer Soundtrack, Green Jelly; Social Distortion, Social Distortion; Get Lost, The Magnetic Fields; Make Yourself, Incubus; Republica, Republica; Bad Days EP, The Flaming Lips. Errr...well, my musical taste during my salad days is a mixed bag. Plus, I'm totally lying about listening to The Magnetic Fields when I was in high school, they came much later.

¹I can't think of anyone who went from super-lame to super-cool thanks to the internet; one day my friends and I are trading jokes about the best way to kill of Wesley Crusher(you could use the pointy end of the communicator), the next, we're geeking out to his blog.